apparently the secret to your success is patron
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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