there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
