hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
