Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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