I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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