I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
