Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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