You're my little dorito
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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