She announced her abortion via fbk
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
