I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
