no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
