Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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