there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You pole danced in your parka.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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