I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
