Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
