Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
