What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
