I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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