yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
we made out on top of his cat.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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