on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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