I could make wine with my vomit
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
