Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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