We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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