Three words: puerto rican gang bang
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize