Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
