i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
