You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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