i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
