its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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