I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
