Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
