I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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