He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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