And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize