Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
