after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
