theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
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