Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Randomize