Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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