I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
