? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Swine flu. Run for my life!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
how drunk are you?
Several
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
