We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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