I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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