So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have already put on my inside pants.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
