If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize