so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
