In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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