miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
