U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
