How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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