I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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