are you so shy because you have an std?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize