the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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