How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
