no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
