all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
