I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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