brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
