So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize