i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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