its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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